Kink vs. Fetish?

So you've got this..kink.Or maybe it is more of a fetish…Either way, the more people you tell about it the more blank stares you get. And now you've resorted to doing your research on the internet and erasing your browser history.

Listen there is no need to be embarrassed or ashamed of your newfound kink and/or fetish. It's time to embrace this new facet of your sex life and ride happily into the sunset armed with the knowledge of whether this is a sexual kink or a sexual fetish. 

Fetishes Up Close 

Many people have sexual preferences or fetishes according to Healthline and Carol Queen, Ph.D., a sexologist with the sex toy company Good Vibrations. Fetishes are most widely defined by three prominent features; however it's less common to define fetishes as a MUST - instead fetishes are things that are superchargers - fetishes are usually defined as such. 

1. Anything that falls outside of the typical world of what society has deemed “normal” sexual activity

2. Is arousing

3. Must be present for someone to experience pleasure

For example, someone who enjoys feet as one of their fetishes of choice may be able to enjoy sex with someone who doesn't share that same appreciation but the erotism associated with feet for that individual is still powerful and is still special whether it is present or not. Common fetishes that may seem mundane to some such as latex, leather, uniforms, and piercings are superchargers for others and create an air of elevated arousal. 

Kinks Explained 

Anything that falls outside of the typical boundaries of what society has deemed “normal”, which means a kink is dependent on what your social sphere qualifies as normal. Kinks are dependent on factors such as time, social circles, media exposure, or sexual history. If someone says they’re kinky, you’d have to ask for specifics to know what that means. Bondage, dominance, and sadomasochism, or BDSM are some of the most common kinks and with today's pop culture around thanks to franchises such as 50 Shades of Gray and increased research about the topics this kink is becoming less taboo and more embarrassing in communities around the world. However, someone who considers this love of all things BDSM might simply consider their love a preference. While someone from outside the sphere might consider their enjoyment of Sadomasochism a kink. Common kinks to consider according to the health line include virtual sex, orgasm control, role play, ageplay, or bodily fluids. 

Which is Which?

There are plenty of questions you can ask yourself at that moment about rather what you are experiencing is a kink or a fetish. You may take a moment to ask yourself rather it's the thing that is arousing you or if  the action or if  either needs to be present for you to be aroused Sometimes, the distinction is between a need (fetish) versus a preference (kink). Sexual dynamics and distictions of which is which can  be the answer to arousal by a certain object, material or body part. You might have a kink and a fetish. Or multiple of both.